The DANGEROUS APOSTLE of

INDEPENDENCE and REVOLUTION

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Cast

Milord Byron

His Excellency, the Chief of Police

A Spy

Teresa G.

Fletcher

Mural Painter of Note

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SCENE 1

 

1820 - His Excellency the police chief's office, Ravenna

 

E (to S): Politics here – as you know - are savage and uncertain - and as my best spy, your task is to monitor that scoundrel of an Inglese scribbler, Milord Byron - and report by 5pm each day

S: Excellency – as far as I know – his operations are principally nocturnal

E: I am aware of that – but, due to cutbacks and how dangerous it is about here after dark, we shut up shop at 5

S: Yes Excellency - your Angles in general know little of the Italians - I foresee no great difficulties

E: Very well – keep your distance – he has an eye like a hawk and the spirit of an eagle (leans in) – I need not tell you how crucial your mission is – he could well be conspiring to take our lives – if not – he is most certainly conspiring to take our wives

S: Yes sir – unlike our many attempts at shaking off the Austrians - the bastardo rascals! - I shall not fail (salutes and exits)

 

Spy takes himself to an out-of-town costumier for a variety of ensembles

 

S (to himself): There are some ill-disposed persons who have secret relations with Romagnola and Bologna: the Fair at Lugo will be for them a signal for a combined revolt, and in Ravenna a take-over of the public places - I will need several outfits

 

Palazzo G. - B is supervising mural painting in his bedroom

 

B: Excellent work my friend – just like Titian and t’other fellow – I shall enjoy contemplating these Venetian beauties while mio sole amante in eterno ++++ is out fishing with Papa

Painter: You are extremely extravagant - and are causing a great sensation Milord - you will attract the attention of  His Excellency!

B(sighs): I know it! and be damned to it! (attends to his pet crow) - It is all very tiresome to a quiet man who does his best to please all the world, and longs for fellowship and good will - (hands the Painter a shiny coin) - again, I thank you – send the bill to the Count G.

Painter: Grazie, Milord

 

B - delighted to have something to look at while contemplating Marino Faliero, the beheaded Doge

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Fletcher enters

 

F: My Lord – the clock has struck eight – it is time to go out and make love

B: Oh yes – almost forgot – thankyou Fletcher – be a good man and feed my crow – he has a most dreadful headache – must be this damned weather – the heat is 85 in the Shade – oons! we suffer together, do we not my flying rodent? (tickles the crow’s beak)

F: If I could beg leave my Lord?

B: Yes Fletcher

F: There are reports about the town that police HQ have sent one of their best-dressed men to spy on you – please My Lord – take care – he both shoots and stabs with that primitive Italianism one finds in these parts

B: I’m aware of the incompetent knucklehead – who in the name of Scrope Davies masks at Mass?! And who wears frogged breeches with triple-folded fur boots anymore? (both scoff) – anon Fletcher – keep my powder dry – and arm yourself!

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 SCENE 2

 

The Opera House – Spy is dressed as a disgraced French nobleman – and has opera glasses trained on the Guiccioli's box

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T: Who are you glaring at Mio Byron! I see no pretty married women anywhere!

B: There is a preposterous gentleman spying on me for His Excellency the police chief - I will give him something to report on!

T: Do not Byron! We will be exiled from our Estates and have to emigrate to Switzerland! Milord Shelley tells me it is a fomenting cesspit of slander!

B: Deuced correct he is too - although Shelley suspects surveillance wherever he goes as he is deficient in potassium. It is however becoming dangerous for us in Ravenna - since the assassination near your ex-husband's Palazzo, Fletcher was stopped three times in the Street – but on perceiving who he was  - the dogs apologised and bade him pass on - they are very indefatigable in their researches - but why send this Pantaloon after me? I have gizzarded nobody!

 

An attendant hands Byron a note

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T: Who is she! It's that Geltruda isn't it! (starts fainting)

B: Good god Teresa! - a warning has just been given to me not to take such long rides in the Pine Forest without being on my guard (ponders) I will carry a stiletto between my teeth, place a pair of Mantons in my pocket and wear a Highland broadsword at my hip

T: I will give you poison too - as a backup - and a quick guide to potent local curses and hand gestures

B: I seem to have made yet another powerful and unprincipled man my enemy! - apart from Hobby who is now in a rage with me. It is a deuced confounded thing that I never sleep the worse for having psychotic enemies - nor do I ride in less solitary places (shrugs in a Mediterranean fashion) - precaution is useless - one thinks of it as a disease which may or may not strike

T(through opera-glasses): That dilapidated French gentleman is no longer in his box

B: mmm - I sense a trap is being laid by our enemies my love - much like my domestic situation viz. 1816 - I must away to the Pine Forest and consult with the Brotherhood of Charcoal Burners and Rosewater Distillers - Ah! (to a wandering well-dressed man) - would you mind awfully escorting the noble Contessa home - I have business fanning the revolutionary fire in the Pine Forest (kisses Teresa's tiny white hand) - grazie and Addio!

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The well-dressed military man of an uncertain nation - and spectacular epaulets- offers T his arm

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SCENE 3

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Police HQ  - 9am sharp

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S: Buongiorno Excellency!

E: What have you for me Spy - it had better be sensational - I have just been handed your costumiers bill

S: Most relieving news Excellency - the ultra-liberal Milord has no designs on our political squabbles at all - in fact he is taking the Contessa G. to live on the Borromean Islands - as paying guests of the disgraced Queen of England and her cavalier

E: How came you to this information? I wouldn't trust anything said after Mass - or during a particularly tumultuous opera (frowning)

S: Excellency - it was easily done - without the need for superfluous valour. Knowing Milord's aversion to four-hour Operas - I easily tricked him into taking an excursion to the Pine Forest

E: So - has Milord now exiled himself - again? Does he still rest in these environs? Has he mined his talent out - and proceeds in no great phantasy of finding a new vein?

S: I've no notion of his creative endeavours Excellency  - however, from the careful and diligent investigations I especially started, as mentioned already, not losing sight either of all that can have related to the neighbouring province of the state, it has come to my knowledge that a muffled voice is spreading in a serpentine fashion - and it is NOT Milord Inglese - that Englishman is no friend to liberty

E: You’re certainly the man for the job – (on waking, shakes head) – put it in writing – if you can find enough ink

S: Yes Excellency!

E: Wait! Cool your fur-lined boots! If not Milord - who is the muffled, serpentine voice?

S: The Contessa G. - whom, while I was escorting back to her Papa's in my coach and six (E starts) - has, perhaps due to the authority my uniform lent me,  disclosed information not even I could have unearthed - nay even had I been dressed in my ecclesiasticals

E: Her ex is a dangerous enemy 

S: It's not the Count, Excellency (closes windows and doors - despite it being 95 outside) - it is the son of an English sheep-farmer, a man who lives with his second teenaged wife and her sister. Whilst this so far is admirable - the Contessa assures me he is a committed atheist who believes in ghosts, lives on green fruit and, although not remotely famous, has penned a couple of lines of great power which will stir peasants to revolt for years to come! He also stores gunpowder in a badly-made boat and is attempting to break one of our unmarried teenagers out of her convent

E: We will get Papal knighthoods for this

S: He is slippery, but I believe we can lure him with an offer to publish his poesy

E: Do it!

S: I will require the modish uniform of a Gentleman publisher. I must away to my costumier!

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Later that evening - whilst B is on his way to Teresa - Spy and B are observed saluting each other as they pass 

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END