ECHO IN THE PARK | Jed Pumblechook

AN ECHO ANSWERED

IN GREEN PARK

Cast

Lord Byron

Echo

William Bankes

JC Hobhouse

Fletcher

Mrs. Mule

SB Davies

SCENE 1

1812, epistles are flying into the Latest Lion's den - Byron's St. James' HQ

SBD(picking up a folio of fan mail): Well now Byron - very tempting what? - mmm - do you want any of these? very devout or very reforming or very troubled - mmm - this one, of a Tuesday evening - very available

B: I've no time for any of them Scrope - I've only been famous for a month yet I am already entangled in an inescapable web of intrigue and future torments

SBD: I shall lay a wager - the first epistle I pluck - you shall act upon - the prize - my Dormeuse

B: I require a larger vehicle (sits, frowns, kicks fire) - be damned!! One would imagine being the most desired man in the capital would alleviate my troubles - in truth - they would appear to have multiplied times a million - or more!

Fletcher announces William Bankes - friend, aesthete and Royal Park fancier

WB: Good day - good Lord - what ails the toast of London!

SBD: The attention of romantic reformers is overwhelming him (pockets several letters)

WB: pfft! - enjoy it while you can my dear Byron - our people are fickle and prefer our heroes to throw more Naval or Hussar-type shapes

B: Sunburn me!! if they'd win a deuced war I should be relieved of this (points to a folio of letters) and this (pile of unsolicited MS's) and this! (points to trunk stuffed with odd stockings, bloomers and lengths of lustrous hair)

WB: What a fool you are Byron! We will all age - perchance rapidly, considering the hours we keep - don't let these opportunities pass you by - (picks up a letter) - zounds! what have we here - a PARK!!

B: Show me

WB: Let me read - yes, yes, love, hearts, etc - ha! "Should curiosity prompt you, and should you not be afraid of gratifying it, by trusting yourself alone in the Green Park at seven o’clock this evening, you will see Echo" - it's a Royal one - I know the Watch - they are exceedingly discreet

SBD: You simply must go Byron - after all - you can always escape to the Levant if you are uncovered in a state of disgrace

B: mmmm - show me - could be a trap - several husbands and members of The Fancy already want my hide - I'll think on't

SBD and WB prepare to depart for Whites and another ruinous session of Hazard

W.B: Carpe diem Byron - carpe!!

B ruminates in his fine Turkish pelisse and slippers

B: Surely this would be a backward step - I can't have partaken in such avant-garde adventures in The East - and acquired such extraordinary fame - and become so lusted after - simply to return to rustic rumblings reminiscent of my Southwell sojourns - no! It shan't happen - I wonder what she looks like - Fletcher!!

F: Yes my Lord

B: How was this letter delivered?

F (becomes irritable): Which - oh that one!- I remember a fairy hand and a vague scent of lawn grass

B: Fairy hand? Did she speak?

F: mmm - 'twas - "Excuse the twigs in my hair - my good man - you must deliver this to His Lordship"

B is cautious - and curious

SCENE 2

Evening has fallen - B resolves to partake of the refreshing breeze with a stroll in the Park

H: Why Byron! - What brings you here at this bewitching hour? Don't you know that after 6pm, these Parks are repositories of milliners?

B: Hobby! - of course I'd meet you here, my better self (heartily ashamed) - actually, Hobby - why stroll you here?

H: Walking home to Wimbledon - shortcut saves a dashed bit of shoe leather - Father is still in a rage at me - threatens conscription - must stroll on - leave Byron! leave before the Watch finds you! (H rushes on - unmolested and unapproached)

B rests on a park bench - hears a rustle in a nearby shrub

E: Turn not my beauteous Lord! -speak not!

B attempts both

E: Take instruction - or we are both ruined

B: Who talks of loving in a voice so trembling, so muffled - and so sweet? Echo, is that you?- word of warning - my heart can never love again

E: Who bids the heart with the wildest throbbings beat? - yet gives no balsam to assuage its pain. Is it for thee blooming in youthful prime, the sweets of love for ever to forego?

B: Forego? - I wish I were able to forego loving, my sweet Echo, it all but falls into my lap where ere I go, yea even to Melbourne House

E: And wand’ring thus afro clime to clime, abjure all joy but the joy of woe?

B: Ah, true! - How very odd my Echo - that a stranger - a voice from out the wilderness of a common shrub should sympathise with my plight

E: Exists there not on earth a kindred mind? Lives there no one, whose bosom would have joy’d to calm that soul too tenderly refin’d?

B: I am yet too callow to need an Echo - I must abjure responsibility and have fun for a bit, as yet

E: Is there no one who like thee too may hate, may loathe the languor of a life of rest? Who now may pine in sad unvarying state?

B: Davies, do you know him - a profane jester(chuckles) - bet me I'd be here tonight - I didn't take it - do I have to honour it? Be damned to it

E: Wand’ring with thee, I would be truly blest - and if thy wounded heart I could not cure, thy mind, at least I might have pow’r to calm. Why, I could pour into thy soul sweet friendship's balm

B: Oh! - yes - er - I presume you're referring to my Childe - dear Echo - however, I am a most facetious fellow - and wear not wolfskin breeches and snarl not at approaches from dangerously independent women and aspiring scribblers

E: Oh, Byron! thou hast known enough of pain

B: Lord save me! - I have - but I'm on a good streak at the moment and shall rise to the challenge of life - such is the blood of the Byrons

The Watch approaches

W: Hullo Hullo - you (to B) yes you - you have the mien of an aristocrat who owes money all over town - hop it!

W looks into a shrub

W(to B): Hold on! - there's a somewhat plain mob cap here caught on the twigs - know you to whom it belongs?

B: Er, no - although I must congratulate you Watch on your grammar

W: I thank you - now be off!

B: I shall tell Bankes you said hello

W: Very good my Lord

B retreats, puzzled

SCENE 3

Morning in St. James - B's late morning grumpiness is interrupted by SBD

SBD: Zounds but you look unwell Byron - Fletcher! - a dose of salts!!

B: It's your confounded fault! So enticed I was at your prompting - and the notion of your handy little Dormeuse - I went, after 6pm - to Green Park

SBD(laughs): You misbegotten infidel! Tell me all

B: 'Twas but a voice from yonder - I saw - and felt - no material being

SBD: What? oh, bad luck - still, only your veteran milliners frequent the Royal Parks

B: The Watch came upon us!! - and be damned to it, you Devil!!! If I had dressed down for the occasion - I would be up before the beak at this very moment - and all for naught of pleasure

F brings in the post

SBD: What treats this day, eh Byron? Give me the first perusal (grabs) - I do appreciate your poesy pimping for me (grins)

F: This (hands up note) was on the tray 'ere I got up my Lord - it's a bit grubby - but I swear 'twasn't there last eve

B: Zeus! but it is grubby - 't can only be from my earth-bound friend Echo!

SBD (snatches and reads): "But like the tender bird that sweetly sings, Pierc’d by the thorn, more lovely is thy strain, Writing from agony’s deep piercing stings. Then oh! if thou hast suffer’d, learn to feel! And glory not in giving hopeless pain" (SBD & F laughing quite ruthlessly)

B: Give that to me!! These pretty dears are confused re my creation - and me

SBD: Forsooth my Lord, you did get involved in a dangerous after-dark rendezvous situation - not something a well-adjusted gentleman would risk

Mrs. Mule enters, Davies starts

B: Be not afraid Davies 'tis but my withered, antient housekeeper Mrs. Mule - Mule! I noticed the grates were atrociously déshabillé this morning - see to it

MM: Yes my Lord

B: Mule? - Where is your cap - you cannot parade around half-naked in front of my guests

MM(flustered): Er, 'tis lost - perchance the dog ate it

B: Mule - I give you great lee-way because you make me laugh and have been very kind to me - but you shall not show up here - late in the afternoon - with twigs in your hair

MM(piano): Soften thy heart, or harsher be thy strain

B: Very good Mule - that will be all - Fletcher - ensure that Mule is correctly attired in future

F: Yes my Lord

The antient, otherwise hardy Mule dashes from the room - losing a boot and her apron along the way

B: Sunburn me if I've seldom witnessed such behaviour from Mule - check the brandy levels Fletcher

F: Yes my Lord

SBD: Your good woman is one boot the less in the world - and her apron has dislodged a note

B: Give it here - the vixen - tempting my equally antient groom no doubt (begins to read)

B collapses into his best reading chair

SBD: What the holy is the matter! Byron! (picks up letter and reads) "Be on that side of the Green Park that has the gate opening onto Piccadilly, where the Watch has a blind-spot - at 7pm - and leave the rest to Echo. Should apathy or indifference prevent your coming, adieu for ever!" - (SBD looks to door)

F: Brandy is at levels to be expected my Lord - my lord - why are you biting that saucer!!

SBD: Into Piccadilly Fletcher - hunt down Mule

F: She fears the gentlemen's quarter by day Mr. Davies - and only ventures out after 6pm

B(takes charge): No - I shall not persecute Mrs. Mule - despite her total want of common conduct. The hypnotic power of my poesy and underlook does seem to drive women - yea, even doughties like Mule - quite out of their minds - assure her, Fletcher, we know nothing of this attempted seduction of her Master

F: Yes my Lord

SBD: The crone is perplexedly in love Byron - she will be a torment to you

B: No, my dear Scrope - for she will but torment other females - more determined and quite insane females - from invading my premises (goes at the Brandy) - Here's to the end of unwanted amorous visitors Scrope! (clink glasses)

F: There is a lithe Gentleman's page with large brown eyes - shewing something of a manic aspect - waiting outside with the impatience of - yea- a little volcano - to see you, my Lord

B: Very well - show him in

END

read Echo's poem and letter here!

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